A Fangirl's Guide to Starsky & Hutch

Starsky & Hutch is an hour-long action show about cops who are in love. Or, rather, it's a love story about two men who happen to be cops. It still stuns me how complete and cathartic this story is. I was not expecting to find my favorite queer narrative from a 70s Spelling-Goldberg show. Without ever being able to say it, viewers were drawn into the insular, obsessive, and beautiful love between 'educated' Hutch and 'street-smart' Starsky. I revel in the angst of Blake/Avon and get wooed by the flirty cheekiness of Illya/Napoleon, but Starsky & Hutch are my bedrocks. They deserve to get far more credit for what they got away with than they do.

This Wednesday is the 50th anniversary of the airing of the pilot, so I've put together my essential guide for "getting" Starsky & Hutch. Due to the incredible chemistry between Paul Michael Glaser and David Soul, almost every episode of the show has something thoughtful or fun or interesting to offer (or sometimes you just want to watch a trainwreck in motion with these two) so there is no possible way to speak about the series definitively. This list does not contain infamous moments like The Run from Michael Mann's "The Psychic" nor The Dip from "Tap Dancing Her Way Right Back Into My Heart," and a bunch of my personal favorite moments are missing, but it does, I think, get across the thesis and multitudinous joys of the show.

(And for those of you curious about all those little moments that are missing, may I interest you in the world of fanvids?)

Side Note: While there are plenty of other great episodes, including guest stars like Lynda Carter, Jeff Goldblum, Suzanne Somers, Joan Blondell, and Danny Devito, there are a few episodes you shouldn't watch without extreme caution. "Huggy Bear & the Turkey" was an attempted spinoff with some generally benign but confusing racial politics. It's mostly just a bore. And for some godforsaken reason, "Starsky and Hutch on Voodoo Island," the 3rd season opener, was allowed to air, and forces Starsky & Hutch into blackface at the request of Huggy. Writer Ron Friedman (who unfortunately also wrote the great "Bust Amboy") was responsible for both of them. I curse his name daily.

Pilot

Starsky & Hutch began life as a TV movie. Running off the success of David Soul's turn in Magnum Force, the show focused on two detectives uncovering a conspiracy on the streets of...well, it was shot on location in LA even if no one said it. As the two get deeper into the web of politicians, drug dealers, and dirty cops, they realize that the only people they can really ever trust is each other. The movie is grittier than the show, with a higher production value, a darker mood, and a very short haircut for Starsky. But it also lays the groundwork for the types of stories the show would excel at - "me & thee". There are no easy answers in the world but the only way to survive is to rely on each other.

The pilot is available for free on youtube and the most replayed section is when a soaking wet Starsky bumrushes a drug dealer into a pool. It used to be the steam room scene. We used to be a country.

The Fix - Season 01, Episode 05

Five episodes into the first season and S&H decide to redefine hurt/comfort for an entire community. This was not a show inspired by half a million fic tropes, this is where those tropes come from. Hutch gets kidnapped by a mob boss, forced on heroin to spill information, and then manages to escape. Starsky finds him. The rest of the episode is Hutch in withdrawal and Starsky almost single-handedly helping him through it. The script features memorable villains and side characters, trademarks of the early seasons, but comes into focus when you realize how closely Starsky and Hutch's well beings are tied together. Starsky does not care about protocol, he cares about Hutch, and that's the way the show stays.

Shootout/A Coffin for Starsky - Season 01, Episode 14/Episode 21

Yes, this is a cheat, because Starsky gets TWO whump episodes in season one and they are interchangeably excellent. "Shootout" unfolds as a bottle episode or stage play. Aside from a few scenes, all the action takes place in a small Italian restaurant, with a cast of characters ranging from reluctant accomplices to unlucky patrons. When Starsky gets seriously wounded, Hutch has to both care for him and stop a disaster in the making. Henchguy Joey is a genuinely unsettling firecracker, ready to pop if given the slightest push, which makes this boiling pot episode electric to watch. Starsky wishes he and Hutch could go down to Bolivia and rob some banks but I'm glued right there to my seat.

"A Coffin For Starsky" takes a different tack. Starsky is dying from the inside, see, as he's been mysteriously poisoned by someone out for revenge. Instead of waiting for his 24 hours to be up, he and Hutch hit the streets to try to smoke out the culprit. His condition is getting worse by the hour, though, and both of them have to face what might happen when his time is up. From the first scene, in which a frightened and assaulted Starsky calls Hutch instead of 911, to the final shootout on the rooftop, the pair show over and over their willingness to put the other first. In their 'last' moments together is when their walls truly come down. (Watch this one for a lot of hugging, hand holding, and cowboy boots.)

Gillian - Season 02, Episode 5

Welcome to Season 2! Hutch's girlfriend is dead. After two two-parters to open up the season, the first standalone episode sees Hutch absolutely falling head-over-heels for the new woman in his life, Gillian. She has a dark past though, that's quickly catching up to her, and when Starksy finds out, he's torn between telling the truth and letting Hutch find happiness. "Gillian" is not the first nor last dead girlfriend (or wife! Hutch has terrible luck!) of the series but she might be the most important in terms of the life Hutch wants to be able to live and the cards he's been dealt. Plus, Gillian and Starsky see eye-to-eye about a lot of things, including their love for Hutch, which makes her demise all the more tragic. Some may see Hutch's final breakdown as too cheesy and 70s but all I see is a committed actor given a terrific scene. It also features a wonderful performance by one of my pre-code favorites, Sylvia Sidney, as the world's nastiest mother.

Bloodbath - Season 02, Episode 14

Simon! Simon! Simon! Both PMG and Soul got to direct a few episodes of each season starting with Season 2 and the off-kilter "Bloodbath" perfectly showcases Glaser's talents as a director. Starsky gets kidnapped by a Manson-like cult leader facing trial and Hutch only has a few cryptic clues to help track him down. That's the very simple plot, but we get to see Hutch slowly losing his mind as his options start to run out. He goes to everyone he can think of and begs them to show an ounce of humanity and gets nothing in return. Meanwhile, a trapped Starsky is being prepared for a sacrificial ceremony that has something to do with robes and a bear and a tiny waif named Gail. Glaser doesn't go full noir here as he later does with "Deckwatch," but his command of atmosphere and attention to details is apparent. Not only is it Starsky whump, it highlights Soul's best traits as an actor (and, um, assets) the way that only a friend can.

Death in a Different Place - Season 03, Episode 06

During an LA heatwave, Starsky's classic Torino breaks down in the middle of the highway. The sweaty duo get out of the car to have a domestic fight over the steaming engine.

"Listen, Starsky, I think it's about time you made a decision between this piece of junk and me."

"Don't make me choose."

"Death in a Different Place" was when I realized this show was going to fundamentally change my brain chemistry. It was going to be a show I watched over and over for the rest of my life. It immediately set itself apart with the loose free-flowing camerawork, the intensity of the heatwave bearing down on everyone, the way it allowed itself to be quiet when it needed to be. It solidified the best the show had to offer and made a blaring statement. The relationship between Starsky and Hutch is not accidental subtext, it's intentional. A family friend and police mentor of Starsky's is murdered, but it's the fact he was last seen with a male escort that shakes the characters. "DiaDP" is a sympathetic look into queer life in the 70s, featuring a range of the interesting and complicated characters that proves that gayness did not suddenly spring up with 90s sitcoms. Starsky grapples with confused feelings about his former mentor, while the audience is left to grapple with how they perceive the main characters.

Manchild on the Streets - Season 03, Episode 12

An innocent black friend of Hutch's is shot to death by a biased police rookie, leaving behind a grieving widow and a confused and angry son. David Soul directs this intimate story about racial prejudice and grief with his trademark sensitivity. An earlier episode from Season 1, "Pariah", featured a story where Starsky shoots a black kid, not knowing he was only sixteen, that didn't adequately deal with those consequences in favor of a 'cop killer' plot. "Manchild" reads as an apology and correction for that episode, and while it is still full of 70s well-intentioned white liberal politics, it benefits from the attempt. What truly feels awful about this episode is that we are still suffering the same problems that we did 50 years ago, not that 50 years ago the white world was starting to discover and talk about the problem.

Satan's Witches - Season 03, Episode 16

After complaints about the level of violence in the first two seasons, the third season favored more emotional stories. Instead of two cool dudes tackling baddies on the docks, there was a lot more intense talking and focus on 'social issues'. Fine with me, but I understand some people's disappointment. Except, we got "Satan's Witches," which is essentially "Starsky and Hutch Go On Holiday." Staying in Captain Dobey's woodsy cabin, mother nature's son Hutch drags city boy Starsky out to enjoy some fishing, bear stew, and long hikes. Unfortunately, there's a satanic cult across the lake and they don't want to be disturbed. Soul and Glaser were experts at coasting on their charisma and dumb jokes at this point and, despite being about hard nosed detectives taking down dark cultists, "Satan's Witches" essentially comes across as a hang out show. While watching with a friend, I turned and asked, "Do you think they're making them dumber?" right before Hutch drove into a tree. (The answer was yes.) This is not the Starsky & Hutch of yore but it remains a true favorite for the time I get to spend with my favorite boys.

Moonshine - Season 04, Episode 5

Season 4 of the show brought a whole host of problems with it. For one thing, Hutch grew a mustache. For another, he was soul-crushingly depressed. (Whether it was Hutch or Soul, who had recently been through a life-altering accident, is still unclear.) The show slipped even further away from its origins, placing the boys out of their element in high class galas or glossy modeling agencies. There were still good episodes to be found, but they were harder to come by. "Moonshine" feels like a respite from the season's dreariness. Starsky and Hutch go undercover in the country (remember those cowboy boots?) and, um...well something or other happens. At one point Starsky is so blazing drunk he can't stand up straight. It's just fun. And the actors actually seem engaged with the content instead of actively hostile to it (cough Dandruff cough). If you're still looking for a good time, watch "Moonshine," if you're looking for soul-searching existential crises, watch literally any other episode this season. (Which are sometimes good! I swear!)

Targets Without A Badge (I-III) + Sweet Revenge - Season 4, Episodes 18-20,22

Speaking of crisis!! This four-parter (the eps were separated due to scheduling issues, one of the network's great mistakes) ends the series on a thrilling and satisfactory high note. In "Targets," a case gone sour convince Hutch, and then Starsky, that they are better off leaving the police behind. They go out to find jobs (as...a duo) and try to move on with their lives. But a childhood friend of Starsky's needs help, and they get sucked back in to a huge case. In "Sweet Revenge," again directed by PMG, Starsky is brutally wounded and Hutch keeps vigil over his critical condition while seeking out justice. Originally, Starsky was supposed to die, but instead (and spoilers here) the show ends with Hutch and Starsky cuddling up in his hospital bed, sneaking in food for a celebratory picnic. The last five minutes feel like a victory lap, with the two of them giddy and giggling, finally safe and happy.

Blu-Ray now pleeeeeeeeease

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